And In The Morning I’ll Be With You, But It Will Be A Different Kind

I know I’ve mentioned this before, but I’ll mention it again … Planning a wedding is incredibly stressful.

I wish I could say that everything was falling into place perfectly, but that’s just not real life.  I can thankfully say that many decisions were pretty easy, and that we’re in the final stretch before the wedding … So almost everything has been done at this point.  But that doesn’t mean I’m calm.  I’m not even a little calm at this point.

I really really really wanted to avoid crazy Bridezilla behavior.  I’m a pretty high strung person, but I always watched Bridezillas (yeah, I’m publicly admitting that I watch that awful, trashy show) and thought, “Bitches be cray cray.”  And now?  I’m ashamed to say that I actually understand why some of these women are freaking out.  Yes, some of the women on that show are just incredibly materialistic (like the one who demanded her fiancé buy her two wedding bands because “look at me!”) or psychotic (like the one who told her mom she wanted to kill her fiancé after they got married so she could collect his life insurance) … But some freak out because people back out at the last minute, something pretty important (even if only to them) was forgotten, etc.  I get that.  (And, sadly, those examples I used were actual things that happened on the show.)  But still … Who wants to become a gigantic crazy bitch just because they’re getting married?  I don’t.

Unfortunately, the stress of pulling off an event like this has taken its toll on me several times throughout the last 11 months of planning.  Sure, there have been some really exciting and really fun moments.  But there have also been moments when I’ve wanted to rip out my hair, scream, cry, or all of the above.

My point here (and I promise there is one!) is that wedding planning can make anyone a little insane.  I’m not proud of it, but I’ve certainly been guilty of Bridezilla behavior on several occasions.  I think I just want everything to be perfect.  I know that’s completely naive and unrealistic, but I also know that most brides want that.  I’m of the “if I’m going to do it, I’m going to do it right” camp, so I definitely get at least a little upset (or, you know, have a full blown anxiety attack) if I think something isn’t going to be “right.”  It’s stupid, but it’s just how things are right now.

I really hope that in a month I’ll be able to write a post detailing all of the things that didn’t go right and actually laugh about it.  I also hope that I won’t be one of those people who holds on to the disappointment I feel when someone doesn’t show up or something doesn’t look exactly the way I wanted it to.  I really do hope that’s the case because right now I just feel like one big ball of crazy stressed out bitch.

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