These Games They Really Do You In When You’re Making Up Your Own Rules

I’ve noticed lately that my most popular blog posts are those featuring memes.

As I’ve mentioned before, I didn’t really start this blog to gain a ton of followers.  I started it because I enjoy writing, but often feel unmotivated to do so.  Updating a blog forces me to work on my writing on a fairly regular basis, which I’m hoping will eventually translate into better creative/fictional writing.  Blogging is also fun because it gives me an outlet to share random thoughts, reviews, etc.  I share a lot with the people in my life, but some things just seem better suited for sharing on a blog.  For example, most people in my life wouldn’t benefit from wedding planning advice.  A random person who stumbles upon my blog might, though.

But anyway … The point of all of that is to say that I don’t always make an effort to post things that I think will be “popular.”

Today, however, I am.

I’m pretty sure I’ve written about my love/hate relationship with Facebook in the past.  I appreciate that it gives me the opportunity to stay in touch with people I might have lost touch with otherwise.  I enjoy seeing pictures that my close friends and family share, especially since a lot of them live far away.

But … I hate some of the random shit that people post.  I don’t care what you had for lunch, nor do I want to see an Instagram picture of your peanut butter sandwich.  I don’t want to try to decipher what you mean when you tipe lyke dis nd thnk ppl can reed it.  I don’t want to scroll through a ton of images of sick children saying “If I get 1,000,000 likes, my rich uncle/neighbor/Prince William will pay for my cancer treatment!”  I also don’t need to see a bunch of pictures of Jesus that say “Like if you love Jesus!  Keep scrolling if you hate him and love Satan!”

No.  Just … No.

So today I’ve gathered some memes that represent some of the things that I hate about Facebook.  (And yes, I realize I could simply delete my account, but, as I said, it’s not all bad.  I just have to limit the amount of time I spend on it … Otherwise, I might go crazy.)

I’ll start with the profile picture.  I think this is pretty accurate:

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I said it before, but I’ll say it again … I have no idea why some people insist on typing up a bunch of gibberish to post on Facebook.  I have to wonder … Is this person drunk, dumb, lazy, or all of the above?:

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Another issue I’ve already mentioned … The random sick child/religious/insert other random thing that’s supposed to make you feel guilty if you don’t “like” it images that pop up in my newsfeed.  Do people really believe this shit?:

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Some people love to share everything.  Seriously.  I understand that you’re sick … If you want to share that, that’s cool.  But I don’t need to know that you’ve had explosive diarrhea for the last two days.  No one needs to know this (and this is coming from someone who tends to overshare!):

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Then there’s the question of Facebook etiquette.  I’m sure most people with a Facebook have wondered about this at one point or another:

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I will admit, though, that sometimes I like to watch the drama unfold on Facebook.  I find it particularly amusing because the majority of the people I’m friends with on Facebook are within 5 years of my age (so most people are between the ages of 24-34).  Adults.  Adults who, for whatever reason, sometimes feel the need to stir shit up.  While I always stay out of it, I won’t pretend I’m above busting out the popcorn and doing exactly what this meme says:

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Following a Facebook fight, I’ll often see one of the people involved make some sort of passive aggressive jab at the other person.  Then they’ll (OMG!) delete that person from their friends list!  (Or at least threaten to do so.)  This is pretty much my reaction every time this happens (and sadly it happens on a fairly regular basis):

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So yes, I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook.  This leads me to my final meme, the one that sums up how I often feel after wasting some time scrolling through my news feed (especially if none of my close friends or family have posted anything):

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I’m A Slow Motion Accident

I’m starting to get a little annoyed with the 30 day blogging challenge I started.  When I first found it on Pinterest, I was excited because it didn’t ask a bunch of the same old “What do you have in your purse?” kind of questions you typically see in these kinds of challenges.  But I guess I didn’t read everything that carefully in the beginning because as I go down the list, I find myself thinking that a lot of the topics are kind of lame.

This week, for example, I’m supposed to share things I want to say to an ex.

On June 2nd, Eric and I will be celebrating 7 years together.  Obviously that means that all of my other relationships ended quite a while ago.  At this point, then, I think everything that needs to be said has been said already.  I mean, each of those relationships ended for a reason … And those reasons don’t really matter anymore.  I’m not totally heartless or anything.  I’ve just (obviously) moved on with my life, and I’m sure they have as well.

So this week I’ll be writing about something else.  I haven’t done a “Blast from the past” post in quite a while (since August!), so I’ve decided to share a funny anecdote from my younger years.  

This week’s blast from the past post: The pigtail incident

When I was in first grade, my mom often put my hair in pigtails for school.  I wish I had a picture of myself from that time period available to give an accurate visual, but it looked something like this:

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Again, this is not me (though that’s probably obvious).  I thought this picture was cute, though, and my hair was about that length and about that thick at the time of this story.  Image courtesy of djuqyguns.blogspot.com.

I was sitting in front of a boy in class one day, minding my own business.  Suddenly, I heard a noise … Kind of a “snip.”  

Yeah … He cut my hair.  In class.

To make matters worse, he cut a few inches off of only one pigtail.  So there I was, lopsided for a day.  I’m pretty sure I cried at some point because, you know, he cut my hair in class.  (Plus, I was only 6 years old … So it was pretty traumatic!)

As soon as the teacher realized what had happened, he got in trouble.  She also swept up the hair he cut off and put it in a plastic Ziploc bag for him to take home (along with a note to his mother explaining what happened).  I have no idea if he actually took it home or not (or if his mom ever saw the sad clump of hair), but it made me feel a little better at the time.

I had to have my hair evened out later, of course.  It sucked at the time, but at least it gives me a funny story to share now!

But It Was Not Your Fault, But Mine … And It Was Your Heart On The Line … I Really Fucked It Up This Time … Didn’t I, My Dear?

I know I said that Valentine’s Day isn’t a huge deal for Eric and I, but I couldn’t resist using this holiday (and I use that word loosely) as an excuse for posting hilarious memes.  It’s been a while since I last made a meme filled Friday Lounge post, so enjoy!

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I’m a huge nerd obviously.

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This cracked me up.

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I often insert “bitch” into my statements and then blame it on my inner Jesse.

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Maybe even more than leather jogging pants?

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I don’t know much about Taylor Swift, but I do know that a lot of people say that every song is supposedly about a different guy … So this is probably pretty accurate.

You Said That Irony Was The Shackles Of Youth

You may have noticed that I enjoy random online quizzes based on some of my previous Friday Lounge posts.  I try to keep most of them at least somewhat topical (such as the ones that have been popping up all over my Facebook news feed), but sometimes it’s fun to spend a few minutes taking a quiz that’s just completely ridiculous.

So I did a little soul searching and determined that I just couldn’t live another second without knowing how addicted I am to Sriracha.

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Image courtesy of theoatmeal.com.

If you’ve never had Sriracha, you’re missing out.  (And I’m saying that in all seriousness.)  This shit is amazing on pretty much anything, but especially macaroni and cheese (bonus points if it’s macaroni and cheese from Noodles & Co.), pho (I admittedly dump so much sauce in my pho that the broth turns a little red), and dumplings/pot stickers.  At least, those are my favorite things to slather in rooster sauce.

But how addicted am I?  Let’s check out the results of this very scientific quiz.

From the “How Addicted To Sriracha Are You?” quiz at http://theoatmeal.com/quiz/sriracha_addict:

I am 95% addicted to Sriracha!

This apparently makes me The Dark Lord of Sriracha.  My catchphrase?  All foods of the world must burn!

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Image courtesy of theoatmeal.com.

I have to say, I’m not that surprised.  I love spicy foods, and I also love making non-spicy foods burn with the fire of a thousand suns.  One of my favorite things to say when eating something particularly spicy is that it “hurts so good.”

And it does.  All the way down.

Can We Calculate How To Be At Peace Inside?

This week’s Friday Lounge post is dedicated to one of my favorite blogs/websites, Cake Wrecks.

If you’ve never heard of Cake Wrecks, do yourself a huge favor and visit www.cakewrecks.com right now.  (And no, I wasn’t paid to write this.  That would be awesome, but I just genuinely enjoy this website.)

Cake Wrecks is all about showcasing the ultimate fails when it comes to cakes.  I can spend hours on this blog, and will actually start laughing out loud (or, more accurately, laughing like a fucking maniac) while I’m reading it.

There are the simple mistakes (hey, anyone could do this … Right?):

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Image courtesy of www.cakewrecks.com.  You can see the full post at http://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2013/1/17/ooooohso-close.html.

The pathetic attempts at creativity:

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Image courtesy of www.cakewrecks.com.  You can see the full post at http://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2013/6/12/art-school-rejects.html.

The completely inappropriate (it’s hard to tell if it’s intentional or not in some cases, though I think this one had to be … Unless the bakery just decided to add a random “don’t” in there):

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Image courtesy of www.cakewrecks.com.  You can see the full post at http://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2012/1/25/wreck-a-bye-baby.html.

The “oh-my-God-I’m-so-glad-this-didn’t-happen-on-my-wedding-day” cakes:

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Image courtesy of www.cakewrecks.com.  You can see the full post at http://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2012/10/3/7-wedding-wrecks-that-make-me-glad-im-already-married.html.

This could also fall under the above category, though it’s almost worse.  This is a perfect example of hoping for one thing and getting something very very different.

What they asked for (pretty, right?):

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Image courtesy of www.cakewrecks.com.

What they got (this made me laugh like a lunatic!):

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Image courtesy of www.cakewrecks.com.  You can see the full post at http://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2013/11/4/this-wedding-wreck-is-a-real-stretch.html.

Then there are the hideously ugly (and oftentimes disgusting):

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Image courtesy of www.cakewrecks.com.  You can see the full post at http://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2013/7/8/infantile-humor.html.

And the really disgusting (not to mention disturbing … This seriously makes me want to vomit everywhere):

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Image courtesy of www.cakewrecks.com.  You can see the full post at http://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2013/10/25/you-want-vagina-cakes-ill-give-you-vagina-cakes.html.

They aren’t all this bad, though.  Cake Wrecks also features some really beautiful, amazing cakes now and then.  You know, to restore our faith that not all bakeries will fuck your shit up.

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Image courtesy of www.cakewrecks.com.  You can see the full post at http://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2013/11/3/sunday-sweets-dia-de-los-muertos.html.

If I Stay Here, Trouble Will Find Me

I have actually refrained from posting memes for a while (shocking, I know!), but I’m kind of busy this evening … So that’s what you’ll get.

Eric and I are having a much needed date night tonight.  In honor of this, I decided to try to find some funny date night related memes.  Here’s what I came up with:

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These weren’t as good as some of the others I’ve found in the past, but they’ll have to do.

Legions Upon Legions Of Craftsmen Handmade My Feelings

I’ve been having a rough couple of weeks, so I wanted to make this week’s Friday Lounge post something light and funny.  I tend to post a lot of memes on Fridays anyway, but today I especially just don’t feel like writing a “real” post.  

As I’ve mentioned before, Eric and I love Gordon Ramsay.  As a tribute, I’ve decided to post several hilarious memes featuring Chef Ramsay.  Enjoy!

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